Yippeeeeee!

Ten minutes ago, I got onto my email to just do a quick check before going to bed. The computer was on, and I hadn't checked my email today, so I figured I might's well. WELL! I didn't really figure there'd necessarily be anything on there, but lo and behold, I won a book-review contest, resulting in me getting a free book, which I get to get tomorrow, if all goes as planned! So awesome. It was a review on No Impact Man, which was formulated partially from my post about it. Just in case you want to see the review, (cuz of course you do!) here it is:

Every moment I can get, I have been sneaking snatches of Colin Beavan's No Impact Man: The Adventures of a Guilty Liberal Who Attempts to Save the Planet and the Discoveries He Makes about Himself and Our Way of Life in the Process. It is the much-involved tale of how Colin, his wife Michelle, and their daughter Isabella embarked on a year-long attempt to minimize their environmental impact right from their own New York City apartment. This book is absolutely full of information, musings, and witticisms on all kinds of topics: the environment, the economy, stewardship, existentialism, intra-community relations, local and organic eating--the list goes on. It contains significantly more than I expected or bargained for, but wonderfully so. Whether you are looking for hilarity, eco-friendly tips, or just a good story about a year in the life of a little New York family, No Impact Man will draw you in and captivate you attention!

Wish me luck--who knows, it could be the beginning of my career as a famous writer;D!


Oh, and P.S.--I'M DONE! The student is done; the teacher must begin (or rather, continue). And I even have a half-day sub job for Wednesday! Woot!

Hello!

Hey there, World :). What's up? This week seems like it has had at least an extra week squashed into it. My mom left last Friday so that she could fly out Saturday morning (early) to California to visit her grandma. Since then, I have mowed the lawn twice, made dinner three times (Dad helped on most of them, and they were rather simplistic), watered A LOT of plants, done some laundry, turned a composter almost daily (Dad did it once), done way too much homework (Thank God it's done! Yay!), and played a few games with my dad. It was a nice weekend-through Tuesday experience, but I'm so glad my mom's home! I still missed her. But I enjoyed being able to play the piano without using the damper pedal and being able to leave all my school work sprawled across the living and dining rooms without worrying about anyone caring AND not making my bed or cleaning my room (I just kept making more piles) for several days. That's how I roll under stress, so it was a good weekend for her to be gone.

And NOW, all the school stuff's turned in--HURRAY! I'm still a little paranoid. What if I did something wrong, somehow? What if they don't like the stuff on the CD I turned in? What if somehow I still fail? It's all prob'ly pretty silly, but I can't help it. But for now, I won't think about it. Come what may; soli Deo gloria.

This week feels extra long for another reason, besides my mom being gone. There have been all kinds of new experiences I've been jumping into! On Monday afternoon, I got to go supervise a 4th grade class, which was good practice. All week I've been making observations, and I have seen kindergartners (quite incidentally) in both music and P.E. I'm purposefully making it to all the classes in general, and I've seen the three K classes in their own rooms, but P.E. and music were added bonuses. They have helped me realize that I really am happiest working with kindies, and I am subliminally rejoicing at the kindergarten opening my school has next year. Well, theoretical opening--it depends on registration, which is really low at this point. Would they take me, even if they have the opening? Who knows, but I KNOW I want to apply for it if it opens in June, and that's a good thing to know. My love of kindergartners puts something a little more solid in the mass of "what-ifs" about my life. Thank you, Jesus!:)

Back to the supervising-rather-than-observing train of thought: I got to supervise 3rd graders starting their day yesterday and 2nd graders ending their day today and those same 4th graders eating lunch today. Really cool! It has given me more confidence, whereas before I was feeling like, "Oh, boy! I'm fine with 2nd, but how can I possibly sub anywhere else." Another praise:) Life is good, God is good. Plenty still up in the air, don't get me wrong, but unexpected blessings have been so wonderful to experience this week.

Also important: I began reading Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief on Monday (my post-stressful weekend veg-out session:), and it is fantastic! At the beginning I was kind of like, "Unhhhh--" because I was expecting Percy to be older than 12 and the style of writing to be a little different, but once I got started, I made it to pg. 93 before I stopped, and then I kept going. (Sorry, Dad, for the late dinner.......)

That's all for now; best wishes for a Thursday of Wonders:)
XOXO!

Funny how these things happen most often when I should be either doing homework or sleeping...

Well, the report back:

God is good; peace is, for the most part, restored. Looking forward to going to my church tomorrow, not someone else's. (Two weeks ago I was in Pullman and didn't go to church, since my Pullman church happens at night. Last weekend I was at a retreat and went to a service, but it's not the same.) I love my church. I hope God uses me there in amazing ways, allows me to pour love into it. There are lot of things that need to change there, I think, and after much debate, I decided that staying there to help it change would be far superior to running away--church-hopping. I love my church, even if I've been gone for the past 3 1/2 years. I want to help it grow, reach out, and be healthy.

Read the last chapter of No Impact Man this morning. It gave me a great idea. One of the many internal issues I've been ruminating on is the fact that I a) don't want a 40 hr./week job once I have children and b) want to volunteer at my church have left me wondering, "How on earth will I ever get to know people in my community who don't go to church?" Well, No Impact Man provided me a solution in another area I am passionate about: environmentalism. I can volunteer with some sort of eco-conscious/environmentalistic organization(s)! Isn't that exciting? I suppose nothing ever turns out as planned anyway, but it's nice to at least have a solution in mind there.

OK, to bed!
Gute Nacht:)

"AHHHHHHHH!" is a fairly appropriate sentiment, I think.

Everything is due Monday. I am trying to organize everything that is and is not finished, finish what is not finished, and make sure I am not missing anything. It sounds so easy, but certainly is not. Still, shouldn't I feel impending glee at the thought of being done? Shouldn't I be at peace, knowing I won't have to figure all this out after Monday, knowing everything will work out, as it always does? Then why am I so stressed all of a sudden? I'm fine till I start facing it all and trying to do it, and then my heart starts beating faster and it's harder to breathe or to think. These are the symptoms that perpetuate procrastination in my life. But I don't want to procrastinate--I want it all to be done. Why is this so hard? God?

Please pray for me. I AM excited about the coming freedom and possibilities of actually making money rather than watching it continue to be siphoned away, month by month, as I need to put gas in my car, pay car insurance, keep up with my Compassion International commitment, and (lately) buy several wedding presents. I have less money than I owe or need right now. It's all up to God now. Forced dependence:)--it can be a good thing, when God is involved. Soli Deo gloria as I finish out these 17 years and move on to--what? Good question.
:)

Um...

I was originally getting on here to whine about the stress at present. Why is it that stress makes one want to avoid all stress and therefore end up more stressed because more exists to cause stress? BLAH! I only have a week and a half left of student teaching, and it seems from one light quite simple. I'll finish this, this, and this, and all will be well. Maybe I'll begin getting sub jobs so I can pay off my loan by fall. Maybe something better will happen--like $5,000 drops from heaven:). Or maybe it's better to have spent all your hard work earning it...:)

From the other light, though, it's all horrible, and I'm doomed to failure. Now, I know that I haven't failed anything academic in my life. Well, nothing important. There may have been some quizzes. I'm always managing to get a B or better but always panicked because I, for some reason consistently have zero understanding of where I lie on the scale from 50-100 and am apt to imagine the worst in order to be prepared. Prepared for what? For disappointment. If you don't expect to get 100%, you won't be disappointed when you don't; things can only look up. But somehow I get lost between not expecting 100% and having any realistic idea of what I DO have, so I just imagine that I'm going to fail somehow. I can't help it, I don't think. Maybe I haven't tried. Is this making any sense?


ANYWAY...I said I was ORIGINALLY getting on here to whine on that. Secondly I planned to whine about the fact that I just opened an email from a classmate and that email was apologizing for a prior email (that contained only a link) that is somehow the result of a virus on his computer. Oh, dear. Does opening his emails automatically mean I have a virus, or would it only have happened if I'd opened the link? And how can I ever know? How can I be sure there's not an evil virus floating around? Is it on the camera card that's still attached to my computer? Would it kill the camera? How do I find out? AHHHHHH!

Well, thinking about those two things and how my life is over if my computer dies, especially before next Tuesday (because everything is due Monday), though I THINK all the important stuff besides the video from the camera card has been either put onto Google docs or emailed to myself.......

I'm starting the sentence over because it was clearly becoming too long and I'm in too much of a mood to start it over. Well, thinking about those two things and how my computer might die, I suddenly realized, hmmmmmm, life is FINE. It's better than fine. It's amazing and miraculous. I am loved by a good God who is going to take care of me, regardless of whether my computer dies or I pass student teaching or I have a nervous breakdown between now and Monday. So here's the important part of all this:

Psalm 5:3
Every morning
you'll hear me at it again.
Every morning
I lay out the pieces of my life
on your altar
and watch for fire to descend.

I'm thinking of renaming my blog "The pieces of my life." I have been ever since I first read and wrote down this Psalm from The Message Remix Bible. Because how beautiful is that sentiment? "Every morning I lay out the pieces of my life on your altar and watch for fire to descend." It makes me think of Elijah and the fire falling from heaven to consume the sacrifice and the altar in, I think, 2 Samuel. One of those books over in that section of the Bible. As far as I can see, it means I lay out all I have every morning, nothing more nothing less, from the very start and wait expectantly for God to do amazing things, for him to help me do amazing things, just as he did for Elijah and the other prophets. We serve an awesome God.

My blog's first name was Miss Jenn's Ed Tech Blog, because that's how it began. It was for class. It was probably fairly boring. I don't remember--I erased those blogs because they were just assignments. I renamed it "I'll get to that" because I ramble. Constantly. Everything must be said in a roundabout way that gives all the details of everything and everything's mother. That's just how I am, and no, I don't plan on changing it anytime soon. But "The Pieces of My Life." It's appropriately descriptive and also appropriately spiritual with the reference back to Psalm 5. I think I'll do it. :) I actually originally thought, "What a great book title that'd make," but as I have no time for book-writing right now, a blog will do.


In sum, praise God from whom all blessings flow. He is great, he is good, and he will provide for tomorrow.

Soli Deo gloria!

News & Revelations, or The Essay

I) My class has been soooo rowdy this week. In as far as I have theorized and can conclude, it is probably related to A) the fact that it is spring, B) that spring break last week provided much more fodder for talkativity from the outset of the week, and C) (most importantly) I am out of classroom management practice because of spring break. I am not a natural authoritarian; it has taken me a long time to build up my skills in that area, and they are far from perfect. I do honestly believe they are good and job-worthy, but spring break was a setback. I have, however, seen gradual improvement in both myself and the kids every day. But the end of today we worked on handwriting--cursive, specifically--which I have only actually taught twice. My previous methods, in essence, sucked, so I tried something new. Parts of something new were really good; other parts were bad. I had my kids sitting in their seats rather than on the carpet where they would usually be. Being in their seats--and don't forget my nice, loud salmon tank that's humming away--it is both harder to hear them and harder to diffentiate between voices in order to correctly nab talkers; thus, I am less likely to nab individuals. Instead, I count up by tens seconds of time to be spent in at recess. Well, usually by 10 or 20, maybe 30, they've caught on and shaped up. Unfortunately, we got all the way to 50 on a single count:P I habitually raise my voice to be heard. My supervisor tells me to keep a quiet voice and that the kids will therefore be quiet, but I'm not entirely convinced. I think that would've worked if I had started out the year that way, but I've been through a stream of changes throughout the time I've spent with them, both in the brief interval in the fall and throughout the current semester--which is clipping along at record rates.
There have been times that I talk more quietly that the students simply carry on their side conversations more freely. They're a tough group. I'm extremely thankful to be student teaching and not first-year teaching to them; it's honestly a huge blessing. But that doesn't make it much easier. So, my supervisor told me, "You need to be a bitch."

Well, tomorrow comes soon; here goes nothing.

II) Every moment I can get, I have been sneaking snatches of Colin Beavan's No Impact Man: The Adventures of a Guilty Liberal Who Attempts to Save the Planet and the Discoveries He Makes about Himself and Our Way of Life in the Process. This book, besides being so well-humored, as is obvious from the beautifully long title, (yeah, that's how I talk/write!:) is full of information and musings on issues that I consider crucial and fascinating: the environment, economy, stewardship, existentialism--way more than I bargained for. I expected simply a description of Beavan's family's methods of living one year with as little impact as possible on the earth; I was intrigued and wanted to know more. I found something speaking to all of the above, full of wit and hilarity--and even besides which are a plethora of touching (also funny, most often) tales of a little family's New York City existence and discovery of the joys of a simplified life. No cars, no planes, very few trains (and only because skipping Christmas/the birth of a nephew would've been too much to ask of Colin's family; three other train rides were canceled). Advice on how to shop and eat locally; recipes; an ethically-minded man who loves cows so much that he owns a 75-cow dairy farm that bottles milk in glass. I find myself pausing to ask God why on his used-to-be-much-greener earth Christians can't hear this kind of stuff and feel semi-responsible for it [the earth]. Listen to the loads of research Beavan did; listen to how badly plastic is affecting our environment; listen to the fact that studies show the world's fisheries will be unsupplied by 2048 if we do not reverse pollution trends that are killing fish, crabs, shrimp, etc. and which will shut down the 100%-28% of fisheries (worldwide) that now manage to remain working. (28% have already been shut down; there is not enoguh marine life surviving to sustain them.)

Why is it that people hear "global warming" and automatically say, "It's all a lie"? Is it that hard for you to believe that a plastic bag won't break down for thousands of years and when incinerated gives off toxins that affect the health of you AND YOUR CHILDREN??? That a huge pool of garbage resides in the Pacfic Ocean? That sea turtles are endangered by those same plastic bags floating around in the ocean cuz sea turtles, having bad eyesight, mistake them for tasty jellyfish?

WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS FREAKING WORLD???????

"And if we are the body,
Why aren't his arms reaching?
Why aren't his hands healing?
Why aren't his words teaching?
And if we are the body,
Why aren't his feet going?
Why is his love not showing them there is a way,
Them there is a way?"

That song is talking specifically about reaching out to people, but shouldn't we, too, be showing people all around us a good example of stewardship? God created a beautiful world for us; shouldn't we care that it's going to pot? Don't just tell me, "It's all gonna burn anyway." I DO NOT accept that. Hello--do we take a look at people who have addictions, diseases, cancer, children who are ill, and say, "Hey, they're gonna die anyway; may as well just let it take its course. No point trying to help, cuz it won't be enough"? HELL NO!!! We try. God told us to love and care for people--we should do it. God told us to take care of his green earth--we should do it. Yeah, there's a lot of things God told us to do, and we're not perfect. Neither should we become obsessive about environmentalism to the point that we ignore people and simply strive for the environment's right, or animals' rights. We humans are the only things created in God's image; the only things with souls. We are somehow more important than all those soulless things. But that's no excuse to ignore our stewardship. Think of parables in the Bible that talk about workers mistreating/misusing God-given land or talents. How did they fare? Not so well. He condemned them to death.

This wasn't supposed to be this long. ...It never is.:) But when I'm passionate, I'm long-winded. This is something I REALLY care about, and this book has given me a beautiful way to put words to some of my own thoughts as well as to dialogue with God about all these cares and concerns. Colin Beavan was very ambitious in his project, and he, doing it for the purpose of writing a book, had the time to integrate drastic changes into his life. You don't have to do it all at once. I don't have to do it all at once. But take the time to think about how you can be a better steward of this earth. And it's not just about stewardship. It's about not treating a limited amount of resources as thought they will last forever. "Jesus is coming back before it will matter" is NOT a good reason for wasting resoruces. It's like saying, "I'm going to use up all the money I have by the time I'm 70, cuz I'm sure I won't live any longer than that." In doing so, you would be compromising the possibilities and resources of your post-seventy life. WE are compromising the possibilities and resources of whoever will come after us, whether only our children or our great-great-great-great-....-great grandchildren. Don't be stupid about it.

Yes, I would reccommend this book to anyone and everyone, but let me give you a deeper reason. Environmental thoughts and challenges are a good enough reason for me, but even if environmentalism makes you sick, I wholeheartedly believe that EVERY CHRISTIAN IN THE US should read this book wholly for its exploration of what technology and our "efficient" way of life has done to our communities and relationships. I am learning SO MUCH, and the church could learn as much or more, I believe. Conversations with God were NOT what I expected to be prompted to by this book, but it's full of them.

If you're interested, Colin Beavan's blog is found at . If you're even the tiniest bit intrigued, please read the book. I have read only about half, and I believe it is changing/will continue to change my life in many ways, not the least of which is my relationship with God and passion for connecting people. Christians, non-Christians, families, non-families, similar people and different people. I fully intend to buy it once I have finished reading my library copy, and once I have the money:) I wasn't going to buy it, due to an aim at conservation; however, I feel the benefits of reading and rereading as well as sharing and applying its principles to my life--and continuing to dialogue with God on it--will far outweigh the use of 100% postconsumer recyled paper bound in 100% postconsumer recycled cardboard.

:D

reconsidering.

Hmmm...

I was all set on growing my hair out. It reached that nasty stage where it's impossible to deal with and nothing looks the way I planned on.

However, after flipping through recent photos (recent as in from October to January), I'm reconsidering. I'm thinking it's time for a visit to the barber. Orting's not too far off; just have to set a date. And figure out whether it should be before or after the slew of weddings. Maybe during? Provide input as desired.

:)