MIA

Yes, I have been, and will likely continue to be, MIA since the beginning of the school year. You'd think I could still manage one post per month, but the very idea of making that a priority stresses me out. I do, however, quite frequently contemplate blogging...:D. Sometimes daily. And I wanted to share with you the reason for that.

In, oh, May or so, I went to a yard sale on a Friday evening, and for some ridiculously low price like $1 or $.50 (I think it was the latter), I purchased an old edition of My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers. It was a beautiful, old red hardback, and I've always heard good things about M. U. for H. H., so I decided I'd take it. It turned out to be the buy of the year, because I've been reading that book almost every day of the year since June or July. Though I don't agree with absolutely everything Chambers says, his words are often profound, and where I disagree, he at least has done the job of getting me thinking about Scripture.. That is highly valuable, truly.

Many days I wish I had the time to simply sit and type out the entire content of Chambers' words for that day. I bookmark the day and plan to write or blog about it, but then I don't, and then there are too many bookmarks cluttering up my book. So here and now I am telling you: Find a copy of My Utmost for His Highest. Buy it. Read it daily, or as close to daily as you can manage. (At first I would try to "catch up" if I fell behind, but I gave that up, and that has made it easier to keep up with the proper day, somehow. FYI.) They are short, one-page devotionals written by a man whom I believe was closely in tune with God and God's Word. They provide a consistency that is different from other devotionals--consistent length, consistent depth, other consistencies that I'm too tired to explain properly. You don't have to keep at it for a whole year or even read it on certain days, but I strongly encourage you to check it out in some way.

~Blessings & Happy 2012!

Waltzing

I haven't been able to get this song out of my head since Friday, December 3, when I heard it while at a swing dance. It is a waltz, and I've never actually waltzed to it with a guy, but I have waltzed to it, alone, around my house. I also think I waltzed to it with my dear friend Erica H. at the Christmas Dance, but I can't remember whether that was this song or a different one. Regardless, the song has been waltzing around my head, off-and-on, for the past month and 3 weeks, and in order for you to understand why I'm letting it stay there, you need to hear the song. (P.S. I did already know and even love the song, but I somehow have become significantly more attached to it since the third of December. I think that is a combination of a love of both dancing and recognizing beloved songs in a setting where I usually don't know the songs or have only heard them there.)
:)

"How Many Kings" by Downhere

Sung Neng Yee/Nora Sung

I just finished the book China Cry, the story of a little Chinese girl named Sung Neng Yee born in pre-Communist China. She grew up to be called Nora (Lam) Sung in the the United States. From her birth in Peking (Beijing) to a mother who could not keep her to her loving and wealthy adoptive parents; to being forced to flee from the invading Japanese; to being given hope and relief when the Japanese were defeated; to a devotee of Communism, thinking it a great new order; to re-seeking God, whom she knew as a child, as a result of Communism's suspicious persecution. Then, through many, many hardships and faith-building steps and leaps, from China to Hong Kong to the U.S. and then back to Hong Kong and, at last, China. The story is incredible, and I HIGHLY SUGGEST you read it for yourself. I was SO encouraged by all the amazing miracles God did. There were so many times Neng Yee protested or questioned God because she couldn't see the big picture, but then she many, MANY times found out later how huge an impact these difficult events and her obedience had had on bringing others to Christ. What an indescribably AWESOME God we serve! I wish that Neng Yee were still alive (she died in 2004) so that I could personally write and tell her how powerfully I have identified with her. Through her story, I have seen confirmation of the importance, beauty, and worthwhileness of submitting oneself to God and boldly believing that He will cause everything to fall into place as a result. Maybe not in the ways my little mind forsees as "best," for how often my plans and expectations of what is "good" or "best" are wrong, but only seen as such in hindsight! But He will cause them to fall where they truly will be "best," for He is omniscient AND has my best interests at heart. How awesome! And He has chosen to use ME and YOU in that process of implementing his good and perfect will!!! Can I get a "Hallelujah!" from anyone out there?

Thank you, God, for your indescribable goodness, faithfulness, love, and majesty! As it says in Ephesians 2:10, "For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do," and in Isaiah 64:6, "...all our righteous acts are like filthy rags..." You are the Potter; we are the Clay. Mold us, please, into beautiful things, and help us yield to your will, and help us to humbly realize that it is by Your power alone, and in no way our own that great things are done. Soli Deo gloria.

Changer of Lives

It is late, and I am going to school tomorrow, but I could not let tonight escape without some news. Tonight I learned that one of my youth group kids became a Christian!!! Praise God! That is a huge encouragement that what I am doing is somehow really changing people's lives. That's what I want to be, a Life-Changer, but sometimes I question it. There are so many job types out there, and each one has it's place. Just today I was wondering what kind of jobs are truly meant for me and I for them, and I'm still not sure. But it IS good to know that what I am doing right now, in this silly, humdrum, interim period of life-after-college-but-before-"REAL"-life can meaningfully impact those around me and help people find the love of a Saviour who provides the "peace that passeth understanding." He is the Changer of Lives who gives me the ability to help change others' lives. To God alone be the glory!

Other brief update: I have applied for a job at a bookshop in hopes of working there part-time and subbing, as well. I would like some kind of regular income, as my loan is soon coming due. Thank God that I have plenty of food, clothes, and options for shelter; I need only repay my loan until such a time as I have enough to finish it off. (After that, my family willlll charge me rent, unfortunately but understandably.) August has been a whirlwind, but a new season is beginning with the start-up of schools all over the valley. Also, I read a very meaningful, to me, short story by Roald Dahl today called "Lucky Break," and last week my mom & I went to visit my brother in California. That's not much, but it's all I have time for today. Tomorrow I'm observing a first grade teacher throughout her first day of school--should be fun, and educational!

TTFN!

What I have been doing since graduating:

I have been working as youth intern at my church! It was a job without any description beyond what I could recall previous interns having done, but I had a very strong desire for the job, regardless of unknowns--it was something God was putting in my heart. I sent a few emails in early May and, at long last, heard back in late May: I was hired!

Since then, I have been learning all kinds of things about what it means to be a leader involved in youth ministry. I make phone calls & reservations, write emails, buy hot dogs & hamburgers, stay up all night (ALL NIGHT!) with two middle schoolers while the rest of the kids crash on couches and the floor. I write facebook messages, make more and more facebook friends; I hang out with kids and talk, but more often I listen, listen, listen. I encounter persons from ages 9 to 12 to 16 who think I am 17 years old, and then I laugh--especially because the 9 and 12 year olds still think that's old:).

I read the Bible and I pray, pray, pray. A dear woman in our church, out of her amazing heart for our youth, comes each week and asks each student if they would like to fill out a prayer request for that week. She then takes the entirety of our youth group time to pray, pray, pray, and then she makes copies for another leader and myself so that we all may pray for these precious students, their highs, their lows, their struggles, their victories, their hearts' desires, week after week after week.

I teach Sunday school, trying to learn to be a better organizer-of-thoughts, a clearer speaker. I teach youth group and try for the same. And besides all these things, there are more hopes and dreams on my heart, just waiting for the opportunity to be introduced and fulfilled in the lives of these kids. The resounding question: How do I help them care? I can have all the service projects and spiritual growth and bonding events and activities in the world planned outside of youth group and Sunday school, but in this day and age of "Too Busy-ness," who will come? Who will care? Over and over I ask God, "How can I reach these kids?" We have to work to figure out how to make the most of the time we have with these young people of whom I was so recently one.

My heart desires to continue in this vein, whether there is money in it or not. I am hoping that my church will want to keep me on in an employed capacity, having seen me work and relate with these students throughout the summer, but even if they do not, I will stay until God directs me elsewhere. It takes time to build trust and relationships, and I don't want to throw those away--neither the time nor the relationships invested in this summer.

For me, you can pray for God's direction in my life. Somehow God will provide the means to repay my school loan, I know it, but I'd love it if that plan involved more-permanent employment with my church. It could also involve another part-time job, for unless they have very direct leading from God, I do not think I would be hired in a full-time capacity. Pray for me to grow continually closer to God as I seek his will for my life; pray for total surrender and complete obedience and submission as God asks me to be a fool for Christ--as he so often does in the littlest of ways.

~Soli Deo gloria, or To God alone be the glory.

Much to Think About

I know it's late, and bed is definitely calling. But there was much to think about, and here's one way I can process it a little better [i.e. by writing].


Nostalgia. This week has been full of nostalgia. First, on Sunday I went to a small group from church, and ohhhhh, did that feel good. I miss both Core and Village from school, though Core much more, since I stuck with it and got to know people better than through Village. It's so good to be able to gather with a small group of people to eat and talk and laugh and play and build community; it is such an integral part of the Christian life. Just read Acts--the early church lived in community. They also shared in a very God-centered, communistic manner, but that's another story. (Read it and find out:) Anyway, after getting back to the house of the people I carpooled with to small group, (carpooling: another nostalgia-inducing, "this-reminds-me-of-college" event) I was invited in for chit-chat and such, and in the course of that was invited to a Phantom of the Opera party on Thursday. It felt almost overwhelmingly good to have friends. Yes, I've had friends for a while now here, but this is evidence that we are becoming even better friends, that I can hang out at people's houses and that we can have fun together on a regular basis:).

Tuesday, a friend & I planned an old-movie-athon for Monday--further evidence of real friendship:D.

Thursday, we watched Phantom of the Opera with our other friend and then planned more details for Monday.

In between, on Wednesday, another few friends planned a Midnight Bowling party for Friday (today/technically yesterday).

Today was soooooo much fun!!! Oh. my. goodness! We bowled--always fun--and then went in search for ice cream. Baskin Robbins was closed, DQ was closed; we settled for Walmart, which for the record has cheaper pints of ice cream than Safeway, at least right now. First, we girls stopped by the bathroom while the boys wandered off. Second, we girls looked at clothes, while the boys were presumably gazing at ice cream. Third, we girls found the boys in the ice cream aisle. Fourth, we spent a considerable amount of time choosing kinds of ice cream, and I made an excellent choice: Ben & Jerry's Chocolate Macademia--soooooo good! Fifth, we wandered the store looking for boys shorts with a size 30 waist, which proved difficult, to say the least. Ended up looking at a lot of clothes, then wandering back to ice cream, then fiiiiinally paying and heading to the parking lot, where we cranked up the music (but not tooooo loud), ate ice cream, and danced around in the rain and watched the lightning give its most incredible performance yet.

Note about Thursday: There was also a guy giving a girl guitar lessons at the house while we watched Phantom of the Opera.

All these things remind me SOOOOO MUCH of Pullman Life. SOOOOO MUCH. Making our own fun, buying pints of ice cream, dancing in the rain as if without a care in the world, the music. Maybe some people lived like this before college and continue to do so after it, but I haven't had the opportunity. I left Pullman life in Pullman approximately 8 months ago, and I never knew how much I missed it until this week, tonight especially. Having friends everywhere, having music everywhere, having people be sooo laid-back and amiable. Being outside in the rain. THANK YOU, GOD. It's been incredible. And the best part? Fun didn't and doesn't end with Pullman; TBIYTC--the best is yet to come!

If alllll the raindrops were lemon drops & gumdrops,
oh what a rain it would be.

Standing outside with my mouth open wide,
ahh-ahh-uh-uhh-uhh-uhh-uhh-uhh-uhh.

If allll the raindrops were lemon drops and gumdrops,
oh what a rain it would be.

~SDG. [Soli Deo gloria]

Deep Breaths

Well, I've discovered that if I don't put any spaces in my titles and labels, they don't turn out Arabic. Haven't figured out any other way to fix that, yet, or had time to try Brian's suggestion on it.

This past week has been surreal, in both speed and happenings. The weekend of the 4th, I went to Spokane for a wedding, then spent Saturday doing yardwork with a friend in Reardan. Good times:). Sunday was church and a lunch at the house of some friends from church, which ended up cosuming the large majority of the day. Monday began as write-to-people day and ended in chaos. You see, my uncle in Alaska died, very unexpectedly. I have only one memory of the man; a good memory. But, needless to say, it hit my grandparents, parents, and aunts and uncles pretty hard. He is the second child my grandparents have lost, and no one is sure whether he ever committed himself to Christ. But I'd rather not dwell on it. I prefer to latch onto the hope over the darkness, and I trust God, no matter what. Tuesday was college group, Wednesday was my first day as official youth intern (thus, youth group), Thursday my dad & aunt & uncle flew to Alaska to put their brother's affairs in order, Thursday I also spent 8 hours at an ex-teacher's house working/doing yard work (7 1/2 hours yardwork, 1/2 hour lunch), Thursday I also went to my high school's graduation ceremony, Friday my mother and I drove to Spokane for a wedding rehearsal + to finish my bachelorette party pottery project, Saturday was the wedding, Saturday we drove home, Sunday was church--including Sunday school with the youth--and dinner at three with my mom's parents and dinner 6 to almost 9 with the youth group's graduating seniors, and today my dad's parents came for dinner.

Point in fact: I am currently overwhelmed. I need lots of deep breaths and some slowing down, which is coming. I have been gone from home every weekend since school ended, due to weddings and housesitting and pikcing up my sister from school. I will be gone the next two weekends, housesitting. But hopefully the fact that I will not be going ANYWHERE out of the valley for the next good while means I will have a chance to breathe, relax, and wind down, besides being enthusiastically involved in productive work, such as interning and possibly volunteering and/or finding some kind of compatible work. (It'd have to be really flexible work...)

Point in fact 2: Praise God from whome all blessings flow. Through it all, he is here. Through it all, he gives me guidance and inspiration and love for even the people I completely do not understand.

Point in fact 3: I have decided, due to the hecticness of not only MY life, but those of almost everyone around me, that I do not want a full-time job next year. I want a part-time job that will allow me to be involved in my church and my community in meaningful and eternally significant ways. All around me are people "too busy" to spend real time with other people. If you are one of those people--and even I qualify, for my barely-employed life has been rather busy in exhausting ways for the past month and a half--I a) suggest you read Colin Beavan's
No Impact Man, b) suggest you reevaluate your desires and priorities for your life, and c) suggest you take action when you realize that God has provided ways for you to live a meaningful and abundant life--because he has. "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full," John 10:10 [NIV].

It's not easy. Lack of structured time, or more concisely time management, is something I really struggle to use wisely. I'm struggling now, I've struggled in the past, and I will likely struggle in the future--possibly my entire life. But that is no reason to give up. There is victory in Christ. "But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me," 2 Corinthians 12:9 [NIV]. Boasting about my weaknesses is another thing I find difficult, but another area God can work on in me. Life's a process, and I'm not going to suddenly just get it all right. But, as a very wise girl just told me, "I think this is good though. I think, in the end, I have a Savior. :)" And that pretty much sums it up: It's all about him and completely, totally not about me. Not. about. me.

In the vein of weddings, two of my favorite songs that weddings remind me of, one of which I've only just met:
"Margie Ann" by Fernando Ortega (about his wife:)
"Lemonade" by Chris Rice

OK--sleep well, friends.