March.

Hello. I've been reading many blogs today, both to catch up and to reread. It's Spring Break, and I'm trying to take advantage of the time. The thing is, I still find myself coming to times like this and yearning for this sort of life. Some would probably say I'm just lazy, others would think I'm crazy, and who knows about the rest. But the truth is, as much as I love, love, LOVE children, really & truly, I prefer the freedom of this sort of life. Freedom to have flexibility rather than a strict 40-hour (+) work week; freedom to be involved as a behind-the-scenes (or not) volunteer; freedom to set aside time to write letters and potentially to tutor, volunteer in 100 different ways, and simply find ways to love people and build community. That is where my heart lies.

But the path is unclear. It's hard for me to explain all this to people because I want them to clearly perceive my intent. I do love kids; I do love woring with them at a school on a daily basis. And for all I know, that is where my life is going, where God will lead me and my heart. But right now it isn't. It's hard to want to search for teaching jobs, knowing that. But, as so many say, the journey rather than the destination is what matters. Perhaps in applying for jobs I'll never have I'll grow enough to see the path of the next bit of the journey; only God can say.

Another complication which I can't quite sort in my mind is money. I love living with my parents, but almost daily, at least weekly, come reminders of how much I want a house of my own. With all the volunteer jobs in the world, how would I support myself? $10 a week mowing my grandparents' lawn won't keep a house or even feed me (unless, perhaps, I eat nothing but rice and pinto beans?). But, undoubtedly, God will reveal the solutions in his good time. Soli Deo gloria--to God alone be the glory.
Amen.